thandhai kAlil

thandhai kAlil

thiru-k-kaNNapuram 5

Separated from Him and finding that He has not come to her past dusk, she laments to the breeze

parakAla nAyaki was very tired and weak since she was separated from emberumAn of tirukkaNNapuram. She wanted the association of an object connected with Him. Hence in the last tirumozhi she asked the tumbi to bring the scent of tiruttuzhAi mAla. She thought the bee would take pity on her, listen to her request, do her bidding and bring emberumAn to her. She hoped to enjoy His company. But the bees listen to her patiently but flew away in the end seeking honey in some flowers. emberumAn did not come. parakAla nAyaki lost her peace of mind. The night set in. She did not know what to do. She felt like gOpis who lost kriShNa and lamented over His disappearance. This tirumozhi speaks of her condition as similar to that of gOpis of AyarpADi. Even though in the last pASura AzhwAr said “vAr koL men mulai maDandaiyar taDangaDal vaNNanai tAL nayandu ArvattAl avar pulambiya pulambalai arindu munnurai seida” i.e., “he has sung the pASuras following the trend of gOpis. The experience is not only of gOpis but of AzhwAr’s too.

1. tandai kAl vilangara vandu tOnriya tOnral pin tamiyEn tan
sindai pOyiTTru tiruvaruL avaniDai perumaLavu irundEnai |
andi kAvalan amuduru pasunkadir avai suDa adanODum
manda mArudam vana mulai taDa vandu vali seivadu ozhiyAdE || One ||

parakAla nAyaki says – kaNNan did avatAra to release vasudEva from the prison. Behind Him my lonely mind went away. i was having my mind as my only companion. When even that left me, i had no one to console. i thought His anugraha would restore my spirit. But He did not respond to my pleadings. Not only was He averse to me, but all other objects like cool moon rays and soft southern breeze also became my foes causing more trouble to my already troubled mind. Alas!

2. mAri mAkkaDal vaLaivaNarku iLaiyavan varai purai tirumArbil
tArin Asaiyil pOyina nenjamum tAzhndadu Or tuNai kANEn |
oorum tunjiTTru ulahamum tuyinradu oLiyavan visumbu iyangum
tErum pOyiTTru tisaihaLum maraindana seivadonru ariyEnE || Two ||

My mind left me desiring to obtain the tiruttuzhAi mAla of emberumAn who is dark like sea and rain clouds, who is the younger brother of balarAma. i was waiting for it to come back. But till today it has not come. i think it has surrendered itself at the tiruvaDi of kaNNapirAn. Alas! i don’t have any one to pacify me. i look around for some body who can be my comrade. But all the people of this city as well as the whole world are under the spell of sleep. The sun god has driven away chariot making the world dark and gloomy. i don’t see the directions either. Everywhere everything is engulfed in darkness. Oh! i am at a loss to know what to do! i am alone wakefully waiting.

Or tuNai kANEn – My mind alone is desirous of the tuzhasi mAla. i don’t see anyone like me. Hence i feel i am alone.

oorum tunjiTTru ulahamum tuyinradu– The whole world is engulfed in the darkness of ignorance. All of them desire either the happiness of this world or the other world or kaivalya. Hence they are like dead to the BagavadanuBava. i don’t have anything to do with them.

piLLai urangAvilli dAsa and his wife sought the tiruvaDi of Sree rAmAnuja. When the dAsa died he was taken in a “ratha” to the crematorium. His wife ponnAchchi chanted the first pASura with much emotion and feeling. When she was chanting this second pASura chariot left from her sight. She cried and was chanting the line “tErum maraindu pOyiTTru”. She fell down dead immediately.

3. Ayan mAyamE anri maTTru en kaiyil vaLaihaLum irai nillA
pEyin Aruyir uNDiDum piLLai nam peNNuyirkku irangumO |
tooya mAmadi kadir suDa tuNaiyillai iNai mulai vEhinradAl
Ayan vEyinukku azhihinradu uLLamum anjEl enbAr illaiyE ||

kaNNapirAn is very cruel indeed. He causes my bangles to slip. They don’t stay in my hands even for a minute. He has absolutely no compassion for women. Didn’t He kill pootaNa, a woman (though a rAkShasi)? He cheated her by posing as a child wanting to drink the milk. How long will it take to cheat us poor woman? Will He never take pity on us? My breasts burn by the cool rays of the full moon. There is no one to stop it. My mind, which is my only friend, is almost dead enchanted by the song of the flute played by Him. Who is there to give “aBaya” to me?

4. kaiyangoL puN talai kaLiru undu vendiral kazhal mannar perumpOril
mayanga veN sangam vAi vaitta maindanum vandilan mari kaDal neer |
tayangu veN tirai tivalai nuN pani ennum tazhal muhandu iLa mulai mEl
iyangu mArudam vilangil en Aviyai enakkena peralAmE ||

kaNNapirAn blew His white conch pAncajanya in the mahABarata yudha that agitated and terrorized the minds of the foes who wore kazhal in their feet ( a mark of heroism). This mahApuruSha is not seen to be coming near me. The cool gentle breeze causes the water droplets of the waves to pore on me like the heap of fire. If only the breeze stops blowing i may save my life.

kaNNan planned for the mahABarata war in order to help droupadi. He made all efforts to make her tie her loose hair. “pandAr viralAL pAnjAli koondal muDikka bAradattu kaNDAr kaLiTTru kazhal mannar kalanga sangam vAi vaittAn” “malai purai tOL mannavarum mAradarum maTTrum palar kalanga nooTTruvar paTTazhiya”. He, who did not spare any effort to help droupadi, is very indifferent to my sufferings and pleadings. Indeed He gives deaf ear to my cries. Do i ask as much as droupadi asked? The least i want Him to do is to just come and give His presence.

Well! Let Him be like this! At least the breeze could be a little bit condescending to me. Even that behaves as His friend. The SAstra says “ fearing Him the wind blows”. It blows not to cool my spirit but to burn my body. The water droplets drop on me like sparks of fire. Oh! Who is there to listen to my woes!

5. Ezhu mAmaram tuLai paDa silai vaLaittu ilangaiyai malanguvitta
AzhiyAn namakku aruLiya aruLoDum pahal ellai kazhihinradAl |
tOzhi nAm idarku en seidum tuNai illai suDar paDu mudu neeril
Azha Azhhinra Aviyai aDuvadOr andi vandu aDaihinradE || Five ||

Sree rAma pierced the huge seven sAla trees in order to induce confidence in the doubting mind of sugreeva. Then with his help and vAnara sEna He played havoc in the city of lanka with His bow. Ah! i thought He had some compassion on me! Even that had set along with the sun who disappeared in the deep ocean from where he rose. Even if He refused His anugraha, we could at least enjoy the worldly pleasures. But Alas! We have lost both. The sun has set enveloping the darkness everywhere both outside and inside my mind. Oh! my dear friend! What shall we do? Who is there to help us? Will we die or live? i think emberumAn, the sun and the dusk have all schemed to put an end to my life!

6. muriyum veN tirai mudukayam teeppaDa muzhangazhal eri ambin
vari koL venjilai vaLaivitta maindanam vandilan en seihEn |
eriyum vengadir tuyinradu pAviyEn iNai neDungaN tuyilA
kariya nAzhihai oozhiyil periyana kazhiyumAru ariyEnE || Six ||

Sree rAmapirAn bent His beautiful but terrible bow to discharge fire-emitting arrows that burn even the oceans. He is reputed for His sympathy and dharma. Even He has not listened to my cries. Who else will come if not He? Oh! The sun has disappeared and the night has set in. Due to my past karma i have to under go these sufferings. The nights are long and never ending. It seems like yugas. i don’t know how they are going to end putting to an end to my sufferings too.

7. kalanga mAkkaDal kaDaindu aDaittu ilangaiyar kOnadu varaiyAham
malanga venjamattu aDusaram turanda em aDihaLum vArAnAl |
ilangu vengadir iLamadi adanoDum viDaimaNi aDum Ayan
vilangal vEyinadu OsaiyumAi ini viLaivadonru ariyEnE || Seven ||

“viNNavar amuduNNa amudil varum peNNamudu uNDa emberumAnE” (tiruvAimozhi). Under the pretext of getting nectar for dEvas He churned the pArkaDal to get periyapirATTi (peNNamudu) for Himself. He built the friendship of sugreeva, searched seeta pirATTi with the help of vAnara sEna and built the bridge across the sea – all these for the sake of pirATTi. The war with rAvaNA is in order to get seeta back. These incidents show He can do anything for the sake of a woman. Why should He be indifferent to me alone? Is it because i offer myself voluntarily to Him?

Well! Let Him not come. But should He search for means to kill me? He sends the moon to burn me with his hot rays. He sends the bulls with bells jingling to remained of kriShNa. Not satisfied at this He Himself plays on the flute! Oh! i don’t know what it is in store for me and what more plans He has got to kill me, a mere innocent woman.

viDaimaNi aDum – In the evenings the cattle would return home after grazing in the forests. The bells tied round their necks make jingling sound as they come shaking their heads. “mAlaiyum vandadu mAyan vArAn” – Thus feels the nAyaki. “mAlaivAi tannuDaiya nAvozhiyAdu Adum tani maNiyin innisai Osaiyum vandu en sevitanakkE konnavilum ekkil koDidAi neDidAhum” – periya tirumaDal.

vilangal vEi – vilangal means mountain. vEi means bamboo. Since kaNNan’s flute made up of bamboo grown in the mountains it called vilangal vEi.

8. muzhudu ivvaiyaham murai keDa maraidalum munivanum muniveidi
mazhuvinAl mannar Aruyir vavviya maindanum vArAnAl |
ozhuhu nuN panikku oDungiya pEDaiyai aDanga anjirai kOli
tazhuvu naLLiruL tanimaiyir kaDiyadOr koDuvinai ariyEnE || Eight ||

The kShatriya kings were feeling very proud and acting wicked since they felt there was no one to oppose them. kArtaveeryArjuna and his son came to jamadagni’s ASrama to take rest. The cow in the ASrama which gives milk and other products offered in the sacrificial fire gave the guests all that they wanted. The king was surprised at her power and wished to possess for himself. He killed the riShis who prevented him from dragging her. paraSurAma, the son of jamadagni, killed the king and his son with His axe. His anger not quenched He killed the whole kShatriya race for twenty one generation going round the world in search of them.

parakAla nAyaki says even He has not come who went round the world. When in the midnight the whole world is gripped in the cold, when even the birds protect their hens under the cover of their wide spread wings only i am left alone with no one to care for me. Ah! There is nothing crueler than this loneliness. i think my pApa karmas causing this state of mine. There is no higher pApa than being left alone without a mate.

9. kanam sei mAmadiL kaNapurattu avanoDum kanavinil avan tanda
manam sei inbam vandu uL puha eLhi en vaLai neha irundEnai |
sinam sei mAl viDai sirumaNi Osai en sindaiyai sinduvikkum
anandal anrilin arikural pAviyEn Aviyai aDuhinradE || Nine ||

BagavAn made a sankalpa that He should give parakAla nAyaki at least a mAnasa anuBava (manam sei inbam). But like a daridra (pauper) dreaming about becoming a kOTeeSwara (a millionaire), on waking finds himself the same penniless fellow and feeling sadder than before, parakAla nAyaki on finding her joy only a mAnasa anuBava feels sadder than before (en kai vaLai neha irundEnai). To add to her agony is the jingling sound of the bells of the angry bulls (when they return from the pasture) and the chirping of the anril birds.

10. vAr koL men mulai maDandaiyar taDangaDal vaNNanai tAL nayandu
ArvattAl avar pulambiya pulambalai arindu mun urai seida |
kAr koL paimbozhil mangaiyar kAvalan kali kanri oli vallAr
Er koL vaihunda mAnahar pukku imaiyavarODum kooDuvarE || Ten ||

The gOpis of tiruvAippADi desired the tiruvaDi of BagavAn kriShNa. But could not the samslESha. Hence they lamented loudly singing His praise, cEShTitas and guNas remembering Him in all the things that they saw around them. tirumangai AzhwAr, the king of tirumangai city, has sung these pASuras with the same feelings as the gOpis. Those who read and appreciate the meaning will certainly go to paramapada and be among the nitya sooris.